Couples Counseling Approaches in Durham, NC

Alongside the broader counseling approaches that inform all of my work, I draw on several methods developed specifically for couples: the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, Imago Therapy, and discernment counseling. I use them as lenses and tools rather than scripts, choosing what fits the particular relationship in front of me.

Gottman Method

The Gottman Method offers concrete ways of working — how to raise a complaint without contempt, how to repair in the middle of an argument rather than after, how to stay reachable to each other under stress. I trained in this approach and reach for it when a couple needs something practical to do differently, starting this week.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is for couples who have stopped being able to reach each other — where every conversation about the distance becomes another argument, or another retreat into silence. The pattern is the problem: one partner pursues, the other pulls away, and both end up alone in the same house. I use EFT to help couples step out of that cycle long enough to say what's actually underneath it — usually something more vulnerable than anger — and to rebuild the sense that when you reach for each other, someone reaches back.

Imago Therapy

Imago begins with an idea many couples recognize: we don't choose each other for simple reasons. The qualities that first drew you together — and the frustrations that now repeat — can echo what each of you learned about love early in life. I use Imago to help couples work with those patterns directly, so that an old argument can become a place of understanding rather than another round of the same fight.

Discernment Counseling

Discernment counseling is for couples standing at a threshold — when one of you wants to preserve and repair the relationship and the other is leaning toward ending it. The goal is not to solve the problems, but to figure out whether the problems can be solved: to reach a decision about the marriage that both of you can stand behind, whichever direction it goes.

Begin Couples Counseling

You don’t need to know these approaches before beginning. We can start with what is happening between you and allow the work to find its shape.